Friendship

About a few days ago, I found a quote that said, “your work friends are not your real friends. Real friendships take years to build, and are based off of trust and loyalty. That does not come quickly.” – Or something along that line. Either way, it has stuck with me for the past few days.

Work is hard for me. The people feed off drama, and twist anything you say around to make it sound 100 times worse and/or different. People who I thought were my friends, call me a bitch behind my back, or just talk bad about me behind my back.

I miss my friendships. My friendships that I’ve had since kindergarten and seventh grade. Ashley and Kourtney and Alexa. I miss those friends. The beauty and simplicity of them is so wonderful. Where I am now, I have close friends who I love dearly, but it just isn’t the same. They didn’t know me before I moved to Montana, and sometimes I feel like they don’t know me now.

Every relationship in life is a two way street. We give, and we get. Well, I’m exhausted. I can’t keep giving if I don’t get anything in return, and I mean that in the least selfish way. Think about it this way, if you constantly have to be the one chasing people down to make plans, stop doing it. You will find out who your real friends are. I know I am.

I miss my friendships that took years to build. The unjudgemental characters and the endless amount of memories. I grew up with them. They knew me in my awkward, boy crazed stage. They knew me in my alcoholic drunken college girl stage, and they knew me when I fell in love with a boy. They knew me when I was heartbroken, and when I was happy again. They knew me as I moved away. As I discovered who I was, over, and over, and over again. And here they are. Still writing letters to me. They support me no matter what decision I make. THAT is true, raw friendship. And THAT, I miss.

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